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Saturday, February 1, 2014

Scents and Scentsability A Jo Malone Love Story

I was an awkward, dramatic, and outspoken 11-year-old when I started wearing my first fragrance that didnt come from a Barbie box. (You remember those right? The little solid perfumes in round plastic discs, smelling reminiscent of a baby prostitute?) My perfume of choice was then newly released ck one, the unisex "cologne" that launched a million black and white ads featuring unisex looking people and an obsession with all things Calvin Klein, at least in my Houston suburb middle school circa 1996.

When I went off to high school, I then discovered Chanel fragrances, and quickly accumulated a collection that included Chance, Allure, and No. 5. I also quickly lost many friends, citing painful headaches likely induced by the gallons of whore bath I drowned myself in every morning. But I didnt care--it was worth it.

My love of fragrance hasnt slowed down in the past decade. From Ralph Laurens Blue to Kate Walshs Boyfriend to Givenchys Very Irresistible, I simply cant.get.enough. If I were ever on an episode of Hoarders: Buried Alive, it would be because I was buried under a pile of perfume samples and body oils and yelling about having "the vapors" or something equally incomprehensible. I dont believe in having a "signature scent," because there are far too many odoriferous (yes, real word) ones to enjoy. Cue Jo Malone, fragrance juggernaut:

The Jo Malone fragrance line has everything you might possibly want in fragrance form: candles, colognes, lotions, body wash, and body oils. And while all the scents are named after various florals (i.e., orange blossom, white lily, and jasmine), they are surprisingly unfloral, thank goodness. I hate floral scents. The end.

I scored some major loot for my first Jo Malone purchase a couple weeks ago, thanks to buddying up to the sales woman at the counter. I bought the candle and the cologne you see above in one of my favorite scents, White Jasmine & Mint, but I also scored these mini samples of cologne in Grapefruit and Lime Basil & Mandarin, just for, ya know, being me prolly:

JK, it was some "spend more than you intended and probably should and well give you this free junk you dont need" deal. You know the kind. I like them enough, but I doubt Id actually buy these scents with money, but free is good.

Can we just talk about the packaging for a sec? I mean, the candle is adorable wrapped in plastic and tied with a bow, but did you see the box above?? Literally wrapped like a present. Just in case a box tied in a bow doesnt ring your bell, the sales woman really impressed me by spraying the tissue paper in the bag with the scent I bought. Zut alors, yall!!!

And because it was the end of her shift on a Friday night and her feet probably hurt and she might have been bored and what does she care cus its not her money anyway, the sales woman also sent me off with half a dozen mini samples of other fragrances. Im basically obsessed with Amber & Lavender and Pomegranate Noir now.

What I dont have a picture of is the sample of body oil she included as well. So if youre keeping track at home, thats:
- a White Jasmine & Mint candle
- a bottle of cologne in White Jasmine & Mint
- two mini bottles of other fragrances
- 6 samples of 6 OTHER scents
- a sample of body oil
I pretty much feel like I robbed the Jo Malone booth. In a good way.

If I were recommending any one item to someone to try for the first time, Id suggest either a fragrance or a lotion. The body oil is nice, but not as moisturizing as you might want it to be. And though I love a good candle, the scent isnt as strong as I want it to be. But like I said, I want to smell like a baby prostitute, so maybe itd be strong enough for you. Or you mom. I mean, hello! Mothers Day is just around the corner. What better way to tell mom you love her than by insinuating she stinks? I mean, am I right???

Any other Jo Malone devotees out there? Which fragrance do you love? And what are you getting your Mom for Mothers Day??